I cockslap morals
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
