she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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