I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
