Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
