okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
