I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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