i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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