Whod you bang
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
