It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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