I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
