I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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