if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
