Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
