soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
