We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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