Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
