Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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