Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
