i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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