The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
