I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
