sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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