Just fell off a train. Bad.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
