all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
