Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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