after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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