spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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