How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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