i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
