It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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