For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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