I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just tell him i said nine months
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
