I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
