I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
