Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
