my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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