I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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