im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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