I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
false alarm. still invincible.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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