You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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