Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
