the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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