I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
