I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she pinky promised me she was 18
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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