i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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