Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
