just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Holy sore nipples Batman
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
