All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
