I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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