I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
